ngantuk lerr...

Dari tadi aku duk tersenguk-senguk depan kerja-kerja aku... ngantuk sungguh hari ni. Rasa nak bergolek bawah meja dan tido tapi kurang sopanlah pulak. Ofis aku sejuk yang teramat sangat. Entah-entah suhu dah hampir paras bawah takat beku. Sejukkk... sampaikan pemakaian blazer pun dah takde efek.

Esok aku ada kes sebutan. Cuak la jugak sebab ni first time pergi court dan berhadapan dengan majistret. Seperti kata-kata orang, ala... nak takut apa... bukan mati pun. Paling teruk pun kena pecat dari kerja. Hoh! Jangan dengar kata-kata orang. Selain itu, aku baru dapat arahan pagi tadi untuk pergi ke Kangar Perlis dari hari Rabu sampai Jumaat. Camana tuh... tiket flight dah settle. Tapi hotel tu... aisey... nak mengadu boleh tak? "NAK GAJIIIIIIII!!!"

Takpe... aku takkan mati punya kalau tercampak sana. Kalau ada duit, confirm boleh hidup punya. Burung pun boleh terbang rilek je ke negeri lain... inikan aku! Manusia yang berakal. Seperti kata senior aku disini.. "Whoaaa best tu... ibarat dapat pergi bercuti tuh.." cuti ape kebendanya kalau duit takde.

Takpe... kalau aku takde duit, aku mintak la kat sape-sape. Siapa ngaku member aku, silalah on Handphone masing-masing. Ini lah masa nak berbakti pada member korang yang kedaifan. Siapa off handphone, konfem bila aku dapat gaji nanti, jangan harap korang dapat BAU gaji aku sekalipun. muahahahaa...

of the house and petite four.

As I had promised before, below are the pictures of the walls in the house that I'm currently staying at Putrajaya.

Dining table, perhaps??? Nah...

I thought it is a nice touch to the house though because the house itself looked quite empty, bit boring and a little bit too whitish. Therefore, the pictures on the wall are doing justice to the house by making the house looked less whitish or less dull... and more human-friendly looking... fit for a human being to live.

I am not complaining because I love the house! =)

I had this during the Friday prayers lunch break. Been eyeing this waffle ever since the first time I set my eyes on it... which was about a month ago. Personally, I think it's quite delicious because of the different varieties of its toppings, by which include; four scoops of vanilla ice cream with the blueberry syrup, a slice of peach, chocolate syrup with nuts and with a slice of banana and lastly with the strawberry syrup.

As delicious as I think it is, BUT, I would highly recommend that if you don't have a sweet tooth, do share this waffle with your friends or with someone else. Because it can be a bit 'muak'. Seriously.

BTW, you can get this waffle (the waffle is called 'petite four') at a stall called the "Waffle Stop" in Alamanda food court called 'Rasa'. Enjoy~~

of my childhood sweetheart.

My favourite all time boy band is Backstreet Boys. Thank god that I'm not a guy or else I might be dubbed as gay! Yikes.

I have four Backstreet Boys' cassettes which comprises of their 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th album. I downloaded the other latest albums due to the fact that the CD is freaking expensive. I know most of their songs and lyrics by heart. Once, I had lots of their posters which I collected from different magazines and wouldn't mind spending a whopping RM20 for their special edition magazine by which had only less than 20 pages long.

As I'm getting older, I tend to slow down a bit and beginning to realize that Green Day and Goo Goo Dolls are much cooler than the Backstreet Boys. Nevertheless, I must admit that everytime when I listen to Backstreet Boys' song, my heart longed for them... I will sing happily to their tunes and reminisce all the silly things that I did when I was so obsessively in love with them.

People might thought that I would be crazy over the Oh-so-cute Nick Carter. Heck no! I like Brian Littrell better because his voice is amazing.

Now that I'm working, I would love to own all of Backstreet Boys' ORIGINAL CDs.

I always say how I don't need you. But it's always gonna come right back to this. Please, don't leave me.

Kadang-kadang memang aku tak dapat nafikan it sucks to go around doing things alone. Macam pergi bank ke, pergi JPJ ke, pergi pejabat pos ke, beli barang-barang rumah ke... bukan ape, rasa bosan dan rasa macam loser sebab tak de kawan or orang teman.

Tapi selalunya la, aku rasa best pulak. Sebab tak payah nak layan karenah orang lain. Menonong je pergi mana-mana aku suka, buat urusan-urusan aku lepas tu kalau nak melepak lama-lama kat satu-satu tempat tu rasa best je sebab tak payah nak risau orang lain bosan menunggu kita.

Memang lately ni, aku selalu buat urusan-urusan aku berseorangan. Pergi beli barang-barang keperluan kat Mydin la, Giant la, lepas tu pergi cari Pesuruhjaya Sumpah, pergi tengok wayang, lepas tu pergi cari mentol lampu, pergi buat kunci spare... macam-macam la. Semua aku buat sorang-sorang.

Selalu masalah aku ialah aku tak tahu jalan pergi tempat tu. Aku malas nak tanya orang sebab aku rasa aku menyusahkan orang lain. Jadi aku google je dan tulis arah jalan-jalan tu kat atas kertas. Kalau sesat, lantaklah... pandai-pandai la cari jalan balik. Bukan sampai Indon pun, dalam Malaysia jugak.

Bila dah jalan sorang-sorang tu mula la kutu-kutu tepi jalan sibuk macam Mak Senah kat kampung dok tanya, "hai... sorang ke..." Eh, allooo banggg... perlu ke nak tanya? Sendiri makan pakai tak terjaga, seluar pun koyak rabak kat lutut, gigi pun lupa nak gosok... sibuk pulak nak tanya aku jalan sorang-sorang ke tak. Kebajikan masyarakat ke bang?? Aku caras kang!

Ada orang pernah kata kat aku yang orang perempuan ni kuat bergantung pada orang lelaki. Bergantung pada boyfriend, suami, abang, ayah, adik lelaki dan lain-lain. Aku tak nafikan ada segelintir orang perempuan memang macam tu. Dan aku pun pernah jadi macam tu. Tapi, sekarang aku dah malas dan fed up nak bergantung sebab rasa terlalu menyusahkan orang lain.

Inasmuch aku nak capable to stand on my own two feet tanpa perlu rasa bergantung kepada lelaki, tapi dalam hati... aku tak mahu end up keseorangan.

mock trial

ada orang bertanya dalam mock trial;
'adakah kamu menjeritkan kesakitan?'

aku tergelak guling-guling. serius ayat ni comel laa... lagi-lagi orang yang menyebut perkataan ni macam comel. Tatabahasa haruslah tunggang langgang, tapi dimaafkan kerana lucu masa dia sebut tu.

oklah, mock trial tak abis lagi. later..

In rememberance.

It has been quite sometime since the last time when I wrote any post in regards to my late father. No, it's not that I forgot about it... it's just that I refused to share any more stories. Frankly, I am not that comfortable of sharing it anyway... lately. Just so happen I feel like an idiot telling all those stories, what more when I knew it was being read by others... I just think it's inappropriate.

Well, I'm not going to tell any stories (pengalaman lepas) or anything. But I just want to inform that on the 12th of July (which is today) is the date when my late father passed away and is has been 3 LONG PAINFUL years. Believe me. It is.

So, it's not much that I'm asking but it would mean a lot to me and my family that if anyone come across reading this would be kind enough to recite Al-fatihah for him. Thank You.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

(for those who hate jibberish writings, skip reading below. Thank You.)

For all the hardship that I've gone through throughout the entire 3 years of you not being here with me... (with all of us) is something that I could not blame anyone but it is something that I should be thankful for.

Because without all those hardship, I won't be here anyway.
I won't be doing things and pushing my limits to the end of line to achieve something.
I won't appreciate things more as I am now.
I won't be doing things on my own and be strong day by day.

The weakness that I've not yet overcome is loneliness. The feeling of it is something totally different than being lonely when being away from home and away from your loved ones. Because being away from home there's always phone lines and there's always Streamyx. But when your loved ones being separated for good... there's no 'line' at all, except for your Doa's and Prayers. (I know it's much better but sometimes you can help it but to feel rindu.)

And let's not talk about hardship because writing the words alone makes my heart ache. We have all sorts of problems... financial (at most), family ties and etc. And when I don't talk about it, doesn't mean it did not happen.

I'm not asking others to understand what I'm going through... or what the family is going through. Believe me, it is hard enough as it is.

Well, here I am, still alive and kicking, telling myself everyday; "Get out there and suck it up! To hell with the feeling of having no father. I can still do it on my own."

Oh ya, I won't be getting any paycheck for the first month so don't ask me for it, ok!

Sekarang aku tinggal di Putrajaya... untuk sementara waktu dulu (subjek kepada sebarang posting ke negeri lain oleh boss aku nanti.) Rumah yang aku duduk sekarang itu sebenarnya adalah sebuah Tadika. Tapi kelas untuk tadika tu hanya diadakan pada hari Sabtu sahaja. Jadi memandangkan ada beberapa bilik kosong kat situ, owner tadika merangkap owner rumah itu membenarkan aku duduk disitu buat sementara waktu. Tadika ini adalah tempat aku bekerja kira-kira dua tahun dahulu sebagai assistant teacher... ala... kerja macam tolong-tolong cikgu apa-apa yang patut kat Tadika tu.

Owner rumah ini adalah kenalan rapat kepada famili aku dan sebab itu (kot) dia kasi aku duduk buat sementara waktu. Nanti aku tunjuk gambar dinding kat rumah itu. Penuh dengan pelbagai karakter yang menarik! Kira macam wallpaper la...

Seminggu aku duduk kat Putrajaya adalah sangap sungguh. Tak ada TV dan tak ada internet... cuma ada radio kecil di dapur dan segala bekalan CD-CD cetak rompak kepunyaan adik aku yang aku ambil dari dia. Dan di rumah itu juga masih tak ada dapur gas lagi, toaster dan malahan sofa sekalipun. Kira kosong lagi la... yelah... Tadika la katekan.

Bagi aku, cukup bersyukur dah ada tempat nak berteduh walaupun serba kekurangan. Nanti perlahan-lahan aku tambah la segala barang keperluan.

Minggu hadapan aku ada 4 Mock Trials!!! (*jeritt!!*)

• Kes Bunuh Seksyen 302 Kanun Keseksaan
  
• Kes Jenayah Seksual Seksyen 376 Kanun Keseksaan
• Kes Dadah Seksyen 39B Akta Dadah Berbahaya
  
• Kes Rompakan Berkumpulan Seksyen 395/397 Kanun Keseksaan.

Doakan aku, Okay? :)

Hari Pertama Bekerja (ape ingat 'malam' je ade perkataan 'pertama'?)

Hari ini 1 July 2009 dan merupakan hari pertama pergi kerja. Aku dah dapat posting dan setakat ini kat Putrajaya lagi. Tak tahu la pulak kan tiba-tiba majikan naik minyak terus hantar pergi Negeri lain ke. Aku tak kisah, cuma aku berat sikit la nak adjust dengan tempat orang/asing. almaklumlah dah tua tua ni (hekhek tua la sangat).

Aku dapat kerja sebagai staff Government... kat Jabatan/Kementerian mana tu tak perlulah aku tulis sini sebab nanti ramai pulak yang mintak aku macam-macam (pengalaman telah mengajarku bermacam-macam--> aku bitau orang terdekat, macam-macam benda diaorang booking barang dari aku. *larikk...)

So far, first day tak ada apa-apa perkara produktif yang aku lakukan untuk Government. Cuma adelah aku menambahkan income Akak jual air dan Abang jual Bihun Sup kat Kafeteria. Huhu. Dan aku juga telah menghabiskan beberapa liter air kat Surau dan Jamban. Oh oh, serta mendapat sekeping Punch Card (sama jek macam LL.B (Hons)... beza cuma ada tulis column untuk 'Jab/Kem' saje.)

Lepas Punch Card kul 5.30, aku balik.

Perkara dalam dilemma: Kereta apa aku nak beli? Help! help!

Updated: nak kereta yang sesuai untuk orang baru start bekerja. Murah dan jimat minyak. :)